relax

The biggest challenge and only thing I really need to do.

But I did it tonight for the most part, putting the kids to bed by myself, one crying for his daddy, the other scrambling all over us while we tried to settle down to sleep, wanting to sleep beside her brother, him not wanting her to. I lay there not trapped in the somewhat uncomfortable moment, elbows digging in to my chest, whining, uncertainty, but relaxed, it will all change, it will keep changing. Actually, it ran through my mind, one day they will be older.... But I think the most important part was that I felt a part of the flow of experience.

We had another visit from a young cat in our neighbourhood named Buddy. I kept calling him George, our cat killed last year by a car. It was so nice to have a cat around again. I enjoyed him, and watching the kids with him. Makes me want to get some more, really.

That's all for tonight.