well...

a person
is
the quality
of their attention
and other things


how much joy is possible?

thoughts while daydreaming this morning

everybody's
in pain
of some kind

and in beauty
of some kind

so I cannot find
a resting place
standing with any group of people
or away from any other kind

up and down
in and out
tight deprivation pain desolation
expansive beauty pleasure love
like a chameleon
life flowing through me

Is it possible
to love endless change?

blogging

I can't decide what my blog is for. Is it a conversation or is it a piece of art/writing? It seems neither. Jotting down the events of my day online doesn't interest me that much. There's not enough feedback for a conversation. Perhaps I can use it as writing practice. I guess I will.

Both mother and toddler want to cry

Maeve is sick. Didn't nap long. I've been up since 6:30am. She has a bad rash and keeps having diarrhea, so she's been crying on and off all day. During the last bout of cleaning up, I whacked my head on a corner of the island in our kitchen. Peace for a few minutes now though.

I'll write again before long.

Restless feeling

At home with Maeve today. Feeling restless and pessimistic. Noam's been driving me crazy last couple of days - demanding, hyper. Don't really want Maeve around either. Wish I could be on my OWN. Just do what I want and let my brain cool down, or rather slow down, from too much activity.


That's all for now.

I'm down to one a week

I thought I better post a post - it's been more than a week.

Today we spent house-hunting. Lots of walking, so tiring.

I like the neighbourhood we're looking in, suits me much better, although if we could, I'd really like to leave Toronto (I think). Live somewhere with fresh air, nature, no etched in black gunk like Toronto has; a place with a feeling of optimism, happiness (a place that reflects my new mood). Somewhere kindof simple. I don't care about hip or sophistication. Just nature, art, fresh air, space, and friendly people. Do places like this exist? I'm restless to explore. But we're stuck in Toronto for the next few years - nothing we can do about - work. So any change will do.

Kids. If only they weren't around -all- the time. Look after them even when you don't want to. Still I enjoy them like laughter, hugs, and sweet smells all wrapped up together.

I guess that's all.